DEAR ABBY: I’ve been seeing a girl who’s 21 years youthful than I’m. She says she loves me, however I’m hesitant due to our age distinction.
We have recognized one another for years. She had a crush on me when she was 16, however I used to be married on the time, and he or she was too younger. We made love a few occasions when she was in her 20s as a result of I used to be divorced and he or she was single.
Now it’s 10 years later. I’m in my late 50s; she’s in her 30s. We are each single, and he or she needs to care for me for the remainder of my life.
She brings me lunch each now and again, which I’m amazed at as a result of it’s a protracted drive from the place she lives. I fear about what different individuals will suppose, however she doesn’t care and says she needs to like me and take care of me as a result of she is aware of what I’m about. I grew up along with her uncles and aunts and am good buddies with them.
She’s uninterested in relationship individuals her age as a result of she says they’re immature. She has three children and has by no means been married. I really like her and need to care for her, too, for the remainder of her life. Should I hearken to my coronary heart? — AGE IS A NUMBER, IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR AGE: You have recognized this lady for a few years. It isn’t as if she’s a stranger with three kids who has approached you. Are the fathers of the youngsters contributing to their assist? If they’re minors, what will likely be your function of their lives? These are necessary concerns. But how different individuals really feel about your union mustn’t have an effect on your determination.
DEAR ABBY: I used to be date raped seven years in the past, and the person who assaulted me gave me genital herpes. I’m not somebody who has ever slept round.
After the rape, I instructed nobody. I didn’t go to the police. I didn’t go to the physician to get checked immediately as a result of I used to be scared the physician would report the rape to the police and my household would discover out. I felt ashamed and soiled.
Two months later, I lastly discovered the braveness to see a physician. I noticed I had genital herpes as a result of I received a sore and went to get examined.
I’m now buddies with a man and really feel like each time I meet somebody I’ve to inform him I’ve herpes as a result of I’m not the sort of one that lies or retains secrets and techniques. My buddy appears actually fascinated by me, and I do know I want to inform him.
I really feel like my life is over, and I’ll by no means be capable of have children or marry due to this illness. It’s like the person who raped me has killed my social life and my want to reside. Please assist me, Abby. I do not know what to do. Should I simply keep alone or attempt to get my life again? — STRESSED AND ANXIOUS IN PUERTO RICO
DEAR STRESSED: For heaven’s sake, take your life again! It is much from over. Go on-line and analysis the prevalence of STDs amongst teenagers and younger adults within the U.S. and Puerto Rico. The statistics will likely be an eye-opener for you and will reassure you that you’re not alone in having herpes.
This data ought to be shared together with your sexual companions earlier than changing into intimate. Medications can reduce the prospect of transmission. Your physician or a clinic employee can advise you.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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