DEAR ABBY: I’ve a really poisonous relationship with my older sister. I nonetheless stay at house, though I’ll be leaving for school in a couple of years.
Abby, she has been emotionally abusing me for years. It bought so unhealthy at one level that I thought-about suicide. I don’t consider I’d ever undergo with it, but it surely scared me. She makes sarcastic feedback about something from my weight to what I would like as my profession. My mother and father by no means do something about it.
I attempt to keep away from her, but it surely’s inconceivable due to the shut residing quarters. I don’t know how one can cease her. She has mentioned she would cease earlier than, however she doesn’t, so I now not consider she’s honest when she sometimes apologizes. — BULLIED IN MY OWN HOUSE
DEAR BULLIED: Suicide shouldn’t be the reply. Face it. Your sister is an sad particular person who enjoys belittling others. She could do it as a result of she’s annoyed together with her personal life, or just because she will be able to.
The option to cope with individuals like her — and there are a lot of — is to alter the best way you react to them. There is a saying that applies right here: “Just because a jackass brays doesn’t mean you have to take it to heart.” The subsequent time your sister makes a sarcastic remark, repeat that “mantra” to your self and it could reduce the sting she’s making an attempt to inflict.
Remember, you gained’t at all times need to stay together with her. In the long run, she could surprise why the 2 of you aren’t shut. When she asks that query — and he or she could — be at liberty to inform her.
DEAR ABBY: A number of months in the past, a buddy requested me to be a groomsman in his marriage ceremony, which is able to happen a yr from now. I accepted and forgot to jot down down the date. Weeks later, three different mates invited me on a two-week cruise of the Baltics. I accepted and proceeded to contribute to the pre-booking and group tour charges, and many others. These funds are usually not refundable. I noticed later that the dates overlap.
Both the groom and cruise persons are shut mates from separate teams. My private price at this level is $4,100. What do you advocate I do? — ALL BOOKED UP IN MINNESOTA
DEAR ALL BOOKED: Do the honorable factor and clarify to your mates that once they invited you on that Baltic trip you had already dedicated to being a groomsman in somebody’s marriage ceremony. Then ask if they’ll line another person as much as take your home. As to the cash you’ve gotten shelled out, counsel that the one that replaces you reimburse you some or all the dough, after which hold your fingers crossed.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve a buddy whose 30-year-old son died immediately from a mind stem tumor. On the anniversary of his demise, I ship her a “thinking of you” card to let her know that she is, certainly, in my ideas.
The sixth anniversary of his demise is approaching, and I’m questioning if I ought to cease doing this. I’m afraid it could trigger her extra ache than consolation. — WELL-MEANING IN THE WEST
DEAR WELL-MEANING: Discuss this together with your buddy upfront, and ask her that query. I doubt that sending a card could be hurtful. She will at all times know he died on that day, and he or she could discover it comforting to know that you just not solely bear in mind it, too, but additionally wish to attain out to her.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
To obtain a set of Abby’s most memorable — and most steadily requested — poems and essays, ship your title and mailing handle, plus verify or cash order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby — Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and dealing with are included within the worth.