DEAR ABBY: I’m a 36-year-old feminine, sensible, well-educated, horny, a hit, and an improbable mother and spouse. My downside is, I will’t forestall stalking my boyfriend’s ex on social media. It turns out like she will’t let cross. She repeatedly posts feedback about their earlier courting, about his circle of relatives and nonetheless loving them, and she or he’s additionally shut pals with my boyfriend’s sister.
I don’t know why I repeatedly evaluate myself to her. I do know what I carry to the desk. Why am I so threatened and anxious through this gal? She’s more youthful than I’m and posts all her emotions onto the social media global, even issues about my boyfriend, a few of that have integrated remarks about me.
Why can’t I forestall being so nosy? I stay telling myself the previous doesn’t subject, he’s with me now, don’t fear about her view from the sidelines, and so on. But I’m starting to really feel like one thing is incorrect with ME. Help, please. — STALKER IN TEXAS
DEAR STALKER: You job my memory of a celeb who can’t tear herself clear of the tabloids, irrespective of how merciless or off-base they’re. The most effective factor incorrect with you is you’re permitting your lack of confidence to overhaul you. As you mentioned, your spouse is with you currently. If he had any pastime in his ex, that wouldn’t be the case. Because you’ll be able to’t appear to drag your self clear of the web, imagine “detoxing” through scheduling some conversations with an authorized psychological well being skilled.
DEAR ABBY: One of my husband’s sisters has 8 children, starting from 15 months to 20 years previous. She hasn’t sorted any of them for greater than 3 years. They by no means noticed a health care provider, they didn’t have meals in the home, and she or he was once abusive.
When she misplaced custody, those with out dads within the image went to reside with any other certainly one of my husband’s sisters. Since then, 3 of the youngsters she was once taking good care of went into foster care. My husband and I consult with them steadily, however nobody else within the circle of relatives has noticed them in any respect.
Two of the youngsters are actually in our care. They were dwelling with us for 6 months. The remainder of his circle of relatives hasn’t visited them both. I actually have a 15-month-old son, who wouldn’t know any of them in the event that they did come through, as a result of they by no means do.
Last month, my husband’s circle of relatives invited us over. I didn’t wish to cross and didn’t need my son or 6-year-old niece to move both. My husband thinks they’ve a “right” to look their circle of relatives. I don’t suppose they must be round circle of relatives who can’t be stricken to look them steadily.
I additionally suppose my niece shouldn’t must be round an aunt who abused and overlooked her. She’s most effective now beginning to notice that’s now not commonplace or OK. My nephew is 15, he is aware of what came about wasn’t proper and has selected to avoid his aunt since shifting out.
Am I incorrect to stay my niece from her circle of relatives? She’s now not sufficiently old to make a decision, however I believe at this level it might do extra hurt than excellent. — CONFLICTED IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR CONFLICTED: At this level, you’re that kid’s accountable grownup (mother or father). If you’re feeling it might be destructive for her to be compelled into touch along with her abuser, stand your floor.
Dear Abby is written through Abigail Van Buren, often referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was once based through her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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