DEAR ABBY: I’ve been relationship my boyfriend for 2 years. He is 10 years older, in his mid-40s. He is fantastic, form and sensible, and he treats me properly. There is just one subject: He nonetheless lives along with his ex-girlfriend from 10 years in the past.
She and I don’t get alongside. She infringes on my time with him — has him run her errands, drive her round, and so on. when I’m at his (their) home. He additionally ends calls with me at night time to speak along with her, and his texts abruptly cease. Later I’ll discover out she was in his bed room speaking/venting to him about her present boyfriend or another topic.
She not too long ago put in a proposal to purchase a home that was accepted. After she strikes out of the home they’re renting, he plans to stay there and would really like me to maneuver in with him.
Here’s the catch: He says he might be going over to her (new) home to mow the garden, rake leaves, deal with her automobile, and so on. He says he runs these errands for her as a result of she pays him.
I’ve advised him how a lot it bothers me. I really feel he’s inserting her above me. Am I loopy for being upset over this? — SECOND BEST IN VIRGINIA
DEAR SECOND BEST: You’re not loopy. Unless your boyfriend is tough up for cash, it seems there could also be extra to his relationship along with his ex-girlfriend than he has revealed to you. If he was disconnected from her emotionally — and presumably sexually — he wouldn’t reduce your conversations quick or disguise the truth that he’s texting you.
Unless he rearranges his priorities, you shouldn’t solely not transfer in with him, you must discover a boyfriend with whom YOU’RE No. 1.
DEAR ABBY: My spouse, “Riley,” and I obtained married three months in the past. I’m a company pilot and have been for many of our two-year relationship. Now she’s telling me if I don’t give up my dream job, she’s going to go away me.
I signed a yearlong contract with this firm, so it can price me properly over $10,000 to get out of it early. She hates my schedule, although I work solely about 11 days a month
Riley thinks I’ve to be dwelling each night time, although I warned her that due to my profession, I’d be gone a variety of nights. She knew what she was moving into, but she’s attempting to power me into giving up this dream job or lose her. Please assist. — TORN IN THE SOUTH
DEAR TORN: Riley knew you have been a pilot when she married you. You defined to her what that meant. That she would threaten to depart you as a result of she doesn’t just like the tasks your profession carries with it’s immature and controlling.
If she was critical when she made the ultimatum, I feel you must take her up on it. And earlier than you marry anybody else, make sure the lady is impartial. Then have premarital counseling to make sure one thing like this doesn’t occur once more.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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