DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law has been residing with my husband and me for 3 years. We have been serving to him out for about 11 of our 15 years of marriage. I don’t need him right here anymore. My husband tells me that I should be affected person. I believe I’ve been affected person lengthy sufficient.
My cousin mentioned to provide his brother an ultimatum, however he has a mood, and he doesn’t have regular arguments. He doesn’t hit, however he routinely yells. Because of that, I’ve been avoiding points with him which have been bugging me. How ought to I am going about telling my husband it’s his brother or me? — WANTS HIM GONE
DEAR WANTS HIM GONE: Unless you’re ready to comply with via in your ultimatum, I don’t assume you need to put it in these phrases.
A gentler option to phrase it could be to inform your husband that he has been an exquisite, supportive brother, however he has been doing his grownup brother no favors by fostering his dependence upon each of you. Point out that what’s been happening for the final three years has been extraordinarily unfair to you, that you simply not want to reside this fashion, and that it’s time to set a sure date when both his brother is out of your house — or you may be.
DEAR ABBY: I’m in my 20s, married and 7 months pregnant. My drawback is my overbearing and manipulative mom. She guilt-trips me, makes use of social media to disgrace me and has tried to hurt herself and blame me for it, saying I induced it as a result of I’m a horrible daughter.
Now that I’m anticipating my first youngster, she’s attempting to manage every part. All the boundaries I set are being pushed and crossed. This is inflicting numerous stress for me. What can I do to get freed from my loopy, overbearing mom?! — NEEDS FREEDOM IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR NEEDS FREEDOM: Recognize that as an grownup, YOU are actually in management. Stress isn’t good for you or your child at a time like this. As a mom, your first duty will likely be to your infant.
If your mom has tried to hurt herself up to now — no matter her causes for it — certainly others understand it. Because she is poisonous and unstable, you may have each proper to distance your self from her drama. Draw the road. Accept which you can’t please everybody, and that features your overbearing mom.
DEAR ABBY: How do you assume individuals really feel about receiving greeting playing cards which have a charity group’s title and deal with on the again of the cardboard? I obtain stunning playing cards from charity organizations to be despatched out by me and have typically questioned if individuals assume you might be too low-cost to purchase your personal playing cards. These playing cards embody birthday, get effectively, Christmas, and so forth.
I hate to throw them away, however I want to understand how individuals really feel when receiving these playing cards. — SENDER OF GREETINGS IN VIRGINIA
DEAR SENDER: Speaking for myself, once I obtain a card from somebody, I’m much more happy that the particular person considered me than how a lot was spent on the cardboard. It’s the thought that counts, keep in mind?
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