DEAR ABBY: My longtime buddy “Bonnie” and I’ve been reconnecting all through COVID, most commonly by the use of textual content and video chatting. She’s just lately moved again to my space (she’s within the army), so we spent a weekend in combination serving to her transfer in. It was once arduous and demanding, and her consuming involved me. I do know consuming is prevalent within the army, and as a fairly high-ranking officer, she’s underneath numerous force at all times. I’m extra acutely aware of it as a result of my sister is a convalescing addict.
I’m a queer girl. Bonnie is homosexual, and over the past couple months I’ve been nursing a weigh down on her. She’s very supportive of my art work, and through the years has been the only doing the paintings to stay our friendship alive regardless of our lives going in numerous instructions.
I informed her I had a weigh down on her all through the demanding transferring weekend and requested her to thrill no longer inform me about the entire ladies she texts. She answered that she does no longer go back the ones emotions for me. But we communicate at the telephone for hours at night time, and he or she calls me “Baby” occasionally. She additionally tells me I’m sexually magnetic. Our lives are intertwined sufficient that each our oldsters suppose we’re relationship, and Bonnie steadily says such things as, “My neighbor thinks we’re dating.”
How do I stay each our friendship and my sanity? — CRUSHING IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR CRUSHING: Regardless of what others would possibly suppose, you and Bonnie are NOT relationship, and he or she has informed you evidently that she’s no longer bodily interested in you. She was once fair with you, I’ll give her marks for that. Whether she’s being totally fair with herself, alternatively, is someone’s wager.
My recommendation is to forestall permitting her to monopolize as a lot of your time as she has been. It isn’t excellent for you as it helps to keep you from in search of a significant other who can reciprocate your emotions. If you proceed as issues are, you are going to simplest topic your self to extra of the confusion you feel now.
DEAR ABBY: My spouse of 46 years helps to keep telling me about her disadvantaged early life. Everybody else had a colour TV; the only she grew up with was once a black-and-white. Granny didn’t have a dryer; she had to make use of a clothesline. They didn’t have a automotive, and once they after all were given one, it was once a used automotive. Finally, that they had a brand new automotive, but it surely was once stolen two weeks later.
All the opposite ladies had ballet classes; the entire different ladies had been in Brownies. When Granny after all signed her up, it was once too past due. My spouse needed to get a used Brownie uniform that didn’t are compatible, they usually put her in a troop with Girl Scouts a lot older. She at all times sought after a swing-set, however by no means were given one.
Is there counseling and crew remedy for this self-pity situation? I’m guffawing to myself and my tears are entering my beer. — HAD IT ROUGH, TOO
DEAR HAD IT: I wish to suppose your spouse has it significantly better now, however to be married to somebody as insensitive as you look like can hardly ever be an higher. Go pour your self any other pilsner ahead of your tears dilute this one and produce you down additional, Laughing Boy.
Dear Abby is written via Abigail Van Buren, sometimes called Jeanne Phillips, and was once based via her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What teenagers wish to find out about intercourse, medicine, AIDS and getting along side friends and fogeys is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your identify and mailing cope with, plus test or cash order for $8 (U.S. finances), to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and dealing with are incorporated in the cost.)