DEAR ABBY: One of our daughters (age 18) has been rebelling for the final couple of years. She’s not doing nicely in group faculty. She is relationship a drug person and has been caught in lie after lie, together with about spending the evening at pals’ properties.
She has now determined she not desires to reside with our guidelines, which embrace staying enrolled in faculty full time and making progress, doing just a few family chores, telling us the place she goes and after we can anticipate her residence, and having no overnighters. She has moved in and out with a buddy.
We know she’s immature and can develop up ultimately. We are heartbroken however perceive we are able to’t management this. We are praying for her security.
We have an out-of-town marriage ceremony arising and have determined to make a household trip out of it. On one hand, we need to embrace her, not desirous to destroy what little relationship now we have. On the opposite, we don’t need to be “used” for a enjoyable trip. Because she has chosen to reside on her personal as an grownup, she should pay her personal manner (which she will’t afford). Should we take her or not? — MOM OF AN ALMOST-ADULT
DEAR MOM: Your daughter has made a selection — to be out from beneath your thumb and on her personal. The “price” for her independence is being unable to rely upon you and your husband to foot the invoice for her bills.
Would she be operating wild and staying out all evening in the event you take her with you? You must set some guidelines beforehand and get her to conform to abide by them if she goes to be included together with her sibling(s). A constructive expertise as a household could also be what you all want proper now. But solely you may determine whether or not it’s value taking the prospect.
DEAR ABBY: I’m not too long ago divorced, however my husband, “Danny,” and I nonetheless see one another. The different evening he talked about that his ex-girlfriend texts him. He additionally permits her to comply with him on Instagram however says he isn’t following her. It actually bothers me as a result of she and Danny have been in touch after we have been married, “just as friends” is what he stated. He repeated with 100% certainty that he has little interest in ever getting again collectively together with her.
I spend a number of nights at his place, and he spends nights with me, so I suppose I’ve to belief his phrase, however it’s consuming me up inside. I’ve requested him to not permit her to comply with him on Instagram, however he has not completed that but. He stated he doesn’t care who follows him. — UNFOLLOW IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR UNFOLLOW: I’m confused. Exactly what’s your query? You say you’re divorced, however you’re nonetheless appearing — and considering — like you’re Danny’s spouse. He’s a free man now, and also you not solely do not need the appropriate to dictate who ought to or shouldn’t comply with him on Instagram, but in addition don’t have the appropriate to inform him he can’t see one other lady if he needs.
Face it, you’re BOTH free now. You can’t be cheated on by a husband who’s not your husband. Consider this: It may be more healthy so that you can spend much less time with Danny and dedicate extra time to transferring ahead together with your life.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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