DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I’ve been collectively occurring two years, and I really feel like I wish to marry her. I feel I may spend the remainder of my life along with her. I’ve already requested her father.
Recently she informed me she needs to maneuver nearer to her household. They stay in the course of nowhere, and the one metropolis near them has extraordinarily poor job prospects for each of us. As of proper now they’re a four-hour drive away from us, which I feel is an inexpensive distance. We moved right here solely six months in the past, and now she’s clamoring to get again nearer to residence.
To complicate issues, I desire an city dwelling surroundings, and that appears to not be an possibility. My girlfriend says she could be open to transferring sooner or later, but when I’m being trustworthy, that appears unlikely. What can I say to her? — WILLING TO COMPROMISE
DEAR WILLING: I agree that when you and your girlfriend/fiancee transfer nearer to her household, the probabilities of her agreeing to maneuver farther from them is unlikely. If you’ve a baby, she is going to need her or him to know the grandparents, and probably have assist with baby-sitting, and so forth. Your motive for not wanting to maneuver to the “middle of nowhere” due to the financial sacrifice concerned is smart.
You have to suppose very rigorously about what marriage to her will imply earlier than taking the subsequent step. And above all, have some critical conversations along with her about your emotions. A compromise may be to maneuver nearer to her household, however nonetheless in an space the place you possibly can each discover enough employment.
DEAR ABBY: I’m 30 years previous, the one youngster of divorced dad and mom of their late 60s. Neither of them has remarried.
Because of sure household occasions, I inspired Dad to create a will 4 years in the past. He by no means had one as a result of he doesn’t have a lot cash or any property to bequeath, however my understanding is that placing issues in writing helps immensely when the time comes.
The will Dad lastly produced is a cookie cutter one from the web and never even notarized. But I used to be most stunned after I noticed he had named his sister as his executor. Is this regular for folks with grownup kids? I really feel my dad and mom are my duty to look after as they age. Assigning this responsibility to my aunt, who might be no less than in her 70s when Dad passes, seems like an undue monetary and emotional burden on her. Am I allowed to speak to him about his alternative of executor? — DAD’S KEEPER IN WASHINGTON
DEAR DAD’S KEEPER: Subjects like these are sometimes delicate and tough to deal with. However, you’re “allowed” to speak to your father about any query you want. Explain that you simply all the time assumed it will be your duty to deal with his affairs if he was unable to, and ask him why he selected the individual he did to be his executor. He could not have wished to burden you with the duty or had different causes for naming his sister as his executor. In the ultimate evaluation, the choice was his to make.
DEAR ABBY: Is it thought-about impolite to ask to take some ice water with you from a restaurant after you’ve paid in your meal? An previous buddy of mine insists it is vitally fallacious. Thank you. — THIRSTY IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR THIRSTY: No rule of etiquette prevents a patron from asking to take a go-cup of water with them from a restaurant. Your buddy is mistaken.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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