DEAR ABBY: I’m a homosexual lady. My male perfect good friend has had a overwhelm on me for greater than a yr. It is so intense that he’s nearly delusional. We have talked widely about it. He is aware of the place I stand and that it’ll by no means occur, and he says he accepts that. But he can’t stand the considered me spending time with a lady, although it’s only a good friend. He needs all of my time and doesn’t wish to percentage me, even with mutual buddies.
Here’s the kicker: I had invited him to transport again to my faculty the city with me. We each concept that shifting to a large town would open up extra relationship alternatives for us and lend a hand him recover from me. It used to be a tribulation for him, however he installed a ton of labor with the intention to transfer. We deliberate to be housemates. This took place throughout a time once we concept he used to be feeling extra resolved about our dating.
We had been staying with my relative whilst we seek for a space within the large town, so we’re trapped in the similar house, and he has nowhere else to head. Since we moved in in combination, his emotions for me have resurged. I now not wish to be roommates as a result of his possessiveness. But it will devastate him if I left him by myself right here, particularly because it used to be my concept to head, and I used to be supposed to be his make stronger gadget. I believe like I’m trapped in his drama and can’t reside my lifestyles with out ruining his. Please lend a hand! — TRAPPED LESBIAN IN THE WEST
DEAR TRAPPED LESBIAN: Do no longer hire an condominium with him or purchase a space! To accomplish that can be a dear mistake. You can’t satisfy his wishes. If you permit this to proceed, he’s going to spoil each alternative that comes your manner as a result of it’ll be a risk to his fable.
He wishes to seek out different residing preparations NOW, and also you and your relative must insist upon it. This isn’t going to have a fairy-tale finishing, and you most likely is not going to stay buddies as you progress along side your lifestyles. But transfer alongside is what you should do, for each your sakes.
DEAR ABBY: I went out of the city on a trade go back and forth with two co-workers (each women), and the go back and forth used to be a luck. We were given alongside nice and achieved all the targets we set for ourselves throughout our keep.
During the few outings we had off corporate time, alternatively, there have been moments once we all sought after to hyperlink up and do the whole thing in combination however our stomachs disagreed. If I sought after to visit breakfast at Eight a.m., anyone would wish to move at 11 a.m., or every other co-worker wouldn’t wish to move in any respect. Another instance is, we might plan dinners (after traveling the town all day) at a definite time, however it used to be so past due my abdomen would growl loudly.
I needless to say flexibility is vital, however my metabolism works extra time in comparison to theirs. How do I’m going about venturing off by myself for meals with out coming throughout as impolite or having a look like I’m no longer a workforce participant? — HUNGRY MAN IN NEW YORK
DEAR HUNGRY MAN: Explain it on your co-workers as it’s a must to me. If your frame is signaling that you just should devour one thing NOW, you want to do it — if best sufficient to take the brink off your starvation. To do this isn’t impolite. Taking care of your self is essential, and it doesn’t imply you aren’t a workforce participant. Perhaps you must lift one thing with you to tide you over from meal to meal.
Dear Abby is written by way of Abigail Van Buren, often referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and used to be based by way of her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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