DEAR ABBY: I’ve a co-worker with a troubling psychosis that has left me afraid to put on sure colours or say sure phrases round him. He has allowed a university soccer rivalry to impression his relationship with co-workers.
I would love to put on my maize and blue sweater, however I’m afraid of his response. He’s from Ohio and is negatively obsessive about Michigan. I perceive rivalries, however while you gained’t acknowledge one other co-worker from that state and require all of your co-workers to consult with Michigan because the “M-State” otherwise you storm off in anger, there is a matter. What ought to I do? Should I like to recommend counseling? — AFRAID IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR AFRAID: I agree that your co-worker could also be off the deep finish. You shouldn’t advocate counseling for this obsessive and immature particular person, however somebody in authority ought to. Depending upon how giant an organization your employer is, focus on what has been occurring with human assets or your boss. This is a textbook instance of bullying and making a hostile work setting. Your clothes selections shouldn’t be dictated by a fellow worker.
DEAR ABBY: I’m in my mid-30s and a few 12 months in the past I went from restricted contact to no contact with two siblings and my mom. No single incident triggered this, nor was there any historical past of childhood abuse, and many others. I simply discover I’m a lot happier with out their presence in my life.
I’m married and content material, take pleasure in my job and am in any other case fulfilled. I don’t miss their normal negativity, peevish habits or important feedback. My query is that this: Do I owe them a proof or a spot in my life?
I’m typically an unsentimental particular person. I attempt to be honest. After years of not having fun with our contact, is it OK to lastly finish it as soon as and for all? — DETACHED IN TEXAS
DEAR DETACHED: I’m glad you requested me to weigh in on this. You do owe your mom and siblings a proof. Because what has triggered you to withdraw is their “negativity, peevish behavior and critical comments,” say so. Turning your again on your loved ones with no rationalization in any respect is merciless, punishing habits and cowardly.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve a beautiful good friend who tragically misplaced her husband 10 years in the past. Since then, she and his household have finished a balloon launch celebrating his birthday yearly. It is good and delightful, and I perceive the importance. However, over time it has turn out to be frequent data how detrimental these huge balloon releases could be to the setting and wildlife.
I wish to recommend making an attempt a special approach to have a good time, however I do know, even in any case these years, she’s nonetheless mourning and really delicate about shedding her soulmate, so I don’t need to upset her. Should I preserve my mouth shut, or ought to I say one thing? — REMEMBERING IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR REMEMBERING: You can say one thing, however while you do, quite than making it an announcement, it is likely to be much less accusatory and higher obtained to pose it as a query. Example: “Have you considered celebrating his life by doing ‘X,’ which would have less of an impact on wildlife and the environment?”
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