DEAR ABBY: My 7-year-old granddaughter, “Leyla,” has a playmate who’s a transgender woman. My worry is that she would possibly in finding out the reality and really feel betrayed via her playmate in addition to me. Should I provide an explanation for it to her?
It doesn’t topic to me that her buddy is transgender as a result of I’ve all the time believed that an individual’s maximum necessary trait is having just right morals. I’m an prematurely and fair individual. However, with recognize to this topic, I think that if I stay silent, it’s as even though I’m by some means betraying my granddaughter.
Leyla could be very accepting of all other folks, and I don’t imagine it might trade her courting with the kid so long as I provide an explanation for the entirety to her about people who find themselves trans. Any recommendation could be liked. — PROGRESSIVE GRAN IN ARIZONA
DEAR GRAN: Do Leyla’s oldsters know in regards to the friendship? Assuming they do, have a talk with them, in addition to the playmate’s oldsters, to be sure you’re all at the identical web page. I don’t suppose you must “out” Leyla’s playmate to her. But I DO suppose it’s time you get started speaking for your granddaughter about gender and what makes a woman a woman and what makes a boy a boy.
At some level, her buddy would possibly really feel comfy sufficient in regards to the friendship — and herself — to inform Leyla herself. When that occurs, be ready to reply to any questions your granddaughter can have. PFLAG, a company I’ve discussed ahead of in my column, is a superb useful resource for LGBTQ problems and might be useful to you should you achieve out. Its site is pflag.org.
DEAR ABBY: My worst worry has come true. My daughter simply turned into engaged to any individual we don’t approve of. They had been in combination for 3 years, and it’s been 3 years of drama — from no longer running as a result of they must be in combination 24/7 to home violence. Must I attend the marriage? Should I lend a hand her plan it? She is my first born and I am keen on her, however I think she is making an enormous mistake. — RELUCTANT IN OHIO
DEAR RELUCTANT: I’m going to suppose that you’ve expressed your emotions and issues for your daughter. If that’s the case, then you definately should settle for that she is an grownup and in a position to making her personal selections.
Should you lend a hand plan the marriage? Yes, so long as you don’t seem to be paying for it. Should you attend although you don’t approve of her number of husband? Absolutely! If he’s a violent abuser, she goes to want circle of relatives round her so she doesn’t change into remoted and utterly beneath his regulate. Her existence may just rely on it.
DEAR ABBY: Sadly, my son passed on to the great beyond (suicide), leaving his two more youthful sisters. I’m incessantly requested what number of youngsters I’ve, and I’m by no means certain how you can reply. I think it might be disrespectful to my son’s reminiscence if I don’t come with him. However, if I do, it invariably ends up in extra questions than I care to reply to. Any perception could be a great deal liked. Thank you. — REMEMBERING HIM
DEAR REMEMBERING: I’m sorry to your loss. While a query about youngsters is some way other folks incessantly use to determine a not unusual bond, it may be an emotionally loaded one. Consider providing this reaction: “I have three children. One of them is in heaven.” If you’re pressed additional, it might no longer be rude to reply that the topic is painful and you could somewhat no longer speak about it.
Dear Abby is written via Abigail Van Buren, often referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was once based via her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What teenagers want to learn about intercourse, medication, AIDS and getting in conjunction with friends and fogeys is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your title and mailing deal with, plus take a look at or cash order for $8 (U.S. price range), to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and dealing with are incorporated in the cost.)