DEAR ABBY: My 13-year-old son performs on an area journey sports activities workforce. Many of his teammates could possibly be thought-about decrease class or decrease center class. We reside in an expensive dwelling. We don’t flaunt it, and we’re not snobbish. All of the youngsters and the dad and mom get alongside, and socioeconomic standing performs no function in our interactions.
My son invited a number of of his teammates over for a number of hours, and from the expressions on their faces, it was clear that they had by no means seen a house like ours. They behaved like excellent gents and had been a pleasure to have over.
My mom instructed that it will be higher to not invite the boys over once more as a result of it isn’t truthful to them. Her concern is that it would make them really feel dangerous as a result of they’ve a lot lower than we do. While I perceive her standpoint, I additionally suppose it may be helpful for them to see what the chances are on the earth in case you work laborious and are profitable. Perhaps it’ll encourage them to do higher at school, go to school, and so forth.
Of course, the first function for his or her coming over was only for buddies to spend time collectively and have enjoyable. What do you consider these potential unintended penalties? — SPORTS DAD IN THE SOUTH
DEAR DAD: I disagree along with your mom. If your son and his teammates get pleasure from being collectively along with the time they spend doing their sports activities, they need to be allowed that pleasure. Your dwelling is perhaps probably the most logical place to host these gatherings just because it’s giant sufficient to accommodate the entire boys. Because they arrive from a decrease revenue stage doesn’t imply they will’t forge significant — and lasting — friendships along with your son.
Many profitable people weren’t born with the proverbial silver spoon of their mouths. And many profitable people didn’t attend faculty. They went to commerce and tech faculties and supply themselves and their households with very snug life.
DEAR ABBY: My daughter married a person final spring. One week after their honeymoon, he was recognized with Stage four metastasized colon most cancers. After eight months of docs, hospitals and chemo, he handed away.
They by no means had a possibility to jot down thank-you notes for his or her wedding ceremony items. My daughter feels it isn’t applicable now. I really feel she ought to do it, saying one thing like, “Before my husband passed away, we enjoyed this gift very much.” She stated to ask you. What is your opinion? — WONDERING IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR WONDERING: It is all the time applicable to thank individuals for his or her kindness. Since you requested my opinion, I agree that your daughter ought to write brief notes to the individuals who gave her wedding ceremony items and inform them she would have written sooner, however she remains to be grieving the lack of her husband. Then she ought to thank them for his or her generosity. The guidelines of etiquette don’t require her to say greater than that. When you talk about together with her what I’ve written — as I’m positive you’ll — please convey to her my deepest sympathy.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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