DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I just lately hosted some longtime mates for a number of days whereas they had been passing by means of our space on trip. We had a tremendous time reconnecting, though my spouse commented after they left that they appeared to have “slowed down a bit” — to which I responded, “Yeah. Us, too, I guess.”
We simply obtained an e-mail from that couple’s grownup daughter, with whom we’re additionally pleasant, asking about our perceptions of her dad and mom’ well-being. We usually are not snug responding to her very pointed questions on their consuming habits, bedtimes, taking of medicines, psychological sharpness, and many others. whereas they stayed with us. Is this type of inquiry frequent at present, or do these people have “helicopter kids”? — ANYWHERE, USA
DEAR ANYWHERE: If it’s frequent, I’m unaware of it. It’s the primary query of this type that I’ve obtained. Clearly, the daughter has observed one thing happening along with her dad and mom that has her apprehensive. Because “the kids” are so involved about their dad and mom’ welfare that they really feel compelled to ask these sorts of questions, maybe they need to journey with them to allow them to supervise.
If you select to reply that e-mail, an acceptable response can be, “I think we have all slowed down a little, but if you want to know what your folks ate (etc.) while they were with us, you should ask them.”
DEAR ABBY: Years in the past, a gentleman wrote to you asking what he ought to get his aged dad and mom who didn’t want one other “thing.” You recommended he write them a letter telling them why he was grateful for them. He wrote you again later telling you he had taken your recommendation, how a lot it meant to his father and that, shortly afterward, his father died.
I instantly wrote every of my dad and mom a letter itemizing the issues I discovered from them and what I cherished about them. It was the proper, most significant factor I may have accomplished for them. They have since handed on. I’m so grateful that I used to be in a position to try this for them.
I’ve learn your column for about 35 years. It is all the time respectful and filled with frequent sense. Thank you. — GRATEFUL IN COEUR D’ALENE, IDAHO
DEAR GRATEFUL: You’re welcome. I’m glad you picked up on the suggestion and that it made your dad and mom completely happy. I can consider few individuals who wouldn’t welcome — and treasure — a love letter if it’s honest.
DEAR ABBY: I misplaced my hubby after 50 completely happy years, and but I don’t cry. What’s fallacious with me? — GRIEVING IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR GRIEVING: There is nothing fallacious with you. If your husband was unwell for a time frame earlier than his loss of life, you’ll have had greater than sufficient time to grieve his loss as he was slipping away. If his passing was sudden, you might be in shock, which is why your tears gained’t come. Not everybody grieves in the identical approach, drowning in an ocean of tears, so please don’t choose your self harshly — or in any respect.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
For every little thing you want to learn about wedding ceremony planning, order “How to Have a Lovely Wedding.” Send your title and mailing tackle, plus examine or cash order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and dealing with are included within the worth.)